The Greatness of Being Grateful
There was a time when most families would say grace before breaking bread together. For some, this was a sincere expression of gratitude to God for all blessings received; for others, simply an acknowledgement of good fortune in having the means to feed one’s family. Either way, there is something truly beneficial about reminding ourselves daily of what we have to be thankful for. It’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone say grace.
Oddly, the more we have, the less we seem to feel grateful for. I’m sure we all know a child (perhaps even our own!) who whines about the toy, video game, electronic device, or article of clothing that she wants but doesn’t have, all the while disregarding the vast collection of items she already owns. And as we silently ask ourselves where she got that attitude, perhaps we should take stock of our own approach to the gifts that have been bestowed upon us, but which we tend to take for granted.
There are the obvious material assets—a roof over our heads, clean water, a variety of foods, medical care, etc. If you have recently lost a job, you might value these things more dearly. And then there are less tangible gifts—our relationships, health, talents, opportunities, even our basic dispositions. For some reason, it’s all too easy to become dissatisfied with what we have and instead to focus on what we don’t.
If we can redirect our thinking so that we are sincerely grateful for all things that we do have–material and otherwise–it almost instantly makes us feel better. I have found that it even helps reduce anxiety, which I believe in many cases stems from the fear of losing something or someone. In my most anxious moments, if I can just focus on the good things and people that I have in my life, my heartbeat actually slows down and I get a warm, glowing feeling that pushes away the anxiety.
Being aware of what we have to be thankful for can be especially beneficial to our relationships. It’s so easy to complain—even in the privacy of our own minds—about those we are closest to, enumerating their flaws or how they fall short of our expectations. This is a very slippery slope and can quickly lead to resentment and an unhealthy dynamic, because even if we don’t express these thoughts out loud, the other party can pick up on our dissatisfaction. If, on the other hand, we focus on what they bring to the table and remind ourselves of the kind things they do for us, it changes how we interact with them as well as how we feel about them. The one exception is an abusive relationship; in this case, we should not make the mistake of ignoring unacceptable behavior from others in the name of focusing on their good qualities.
A final thought: There is also tremendous value in thanking people directly for the things they do, or even just for being who they are. On a purely pragmatic level, there’s nothing quite like positive reinforcement for encouraging them to continue doing the right thing! But more importantly, letting someone know that you appreciate them makes them feel valued and better about themselves. It simply is the right thing to do. With that, I thank you, the reader, for taking the time to listen to what I have to say here and in other articles, because it encourages me to keep writing!